Forgotten: How To Be A Gentleman?

As a fiction writer, real world issues play a large part in what we write. I believe there is actually no such “thing” as “fiction”; there is merely fact that is fictionalized. Sometimes that reality can evoke humor:

[From Instagram.]

However, what that meme describes is alien to me. I do not “steal” anything. Rather, I “observe”… and then I write. (And I don’t use pens, pencils, or even quills, so they are irrelevant to me. LOL!)

Relationships play a huge part in my fiction. Therefore, I cannot ignore relationship issues. So on “men and women” matters, my real world “antennae” are permanently up.

You may remember I tackled this about two months ago. The “debate” has not gone away of course, and in some ways only gotten louder and more obnoxious. What I see out there of this is so many apparently smug men actually with nothing about which to be smug, and I cringe in embarrassment as a man reading the garbage such men post.

So I feel this “gentlemanly” issue is worth another post on my site here. I may sound like an old guy, but we appear to have too many of a generation of men who have no idea how to date. Seriously:

[From Instagram.]

This obviously needs stating ABSOLUTELY clearly.

GENTLEMEN, if YOU asked HER out, YOU *PAY* the ENTIRE bill.

And INSIST YOU PAY it ALL even if she asked you out. (Because you should be REALLY flattered and grateful she did.)

In short, ***YOU*** PAY.

Good grief, it is NOT complicated.

Most of the male “split the bill” types I see are justifying it by invoking predictable (usually disparaging and insulting) references to “feminism” and “equality.” Look, if you as a man are actually approaching a date as a means to make some negative statement about a wider social issue that bugs you, the problem is with you. Real life going forward will have a myriad of marital challenges far tougher to deal with than a simple dinner bill/check, so if you as a man cannot somehow bring yourself in the first flush of romance to buy her a f-cking dinner, you are sure as hell not mature enough for an adult relationship, let alone a wife. The best thing you could do for now is stay in front of your game console or comic books or stick to ranting on Twitter and not waste a flesh and blood woman’s time.

[From Frontiers on Kindle. Copyright 2014. Photo by me.]

“Mom,” “Grandma,” and “Dad,” recreated there by me, recalling my first high school girlfriend. LOL! I remember the first time I was about to take that girl out (a movie at the mall and a mall dinner – it did not, I suppose, get more “1980s American” stereotypical) and my dad asking me how much money I had on me (as I didn’t have a credit card then). When I told him (and I thought I had enough to pay for everything), he went into his wallet and handed me something like $50 more (it was a HUGE amount of money back then) and reminded me she was not to pay for anything.

Have a good weekend, wherever you are.

And remember, guys, if you are going out in person with her, you pay for the dinner! 🙂