The Dinner Date: Does The Man Still Pay?

Like yesterday’s, I know this post is another one that is somewhat “different” from my blogging “norm.” But I’m on a roll here, I guess. So here we go. LOL!

On what a DATE actually is, last week Miami’s (by way of Croatia) Kornelija Slunjski stated:

The pandemic has messed up everything – including closing restaurants.

That said, ahem [clears throat], back in my day, coffee in the Student Union, or a “Jane Austen” stroll across campus, was to try to discern if perhaps… maybe… possibly… uh, she wanted to go out with you.

If she was willing to give you a chance and go out with you, the actual date was the DINNER (and drinks may be part of the dinner, they are not separate).

As Gen X, I cannot believe you younger guys have gotten away with this “have a coffee”-as-a-date-stuff. LOL!

Far worse, the likes of this commenter are also out there:

[From Instagram.]

I suspected it before I even clicked over to his bio… and I was proven right. That dig at her came from a private account. It is my experience on Instagram that most “trolling” comes from private accounts. (To be honest, private account holders should NOT be allowed to comment publicly on posts; I believe if they were banned from doing so, that would reduce trolling dramatically.)

In pushing that take, he is not alone. (Or maybe he, uh, is? 😉 ) I cannot get over how evidently “challenged” by her opinions numbers of the male commenters are. Is what she is saying ACTUALLY that much of a SHOCKER?

She never states outright in that short video above that the man must pay. However, given how she describes the date, it is pretty clearly implied that the man pays. In a more recent video (four days ago), she makes who pays abundantly clear: the man pays:

She also states her view stems from her coming from Croatia, but I feel that European continental origin and narrower nationality are in fact irrelevant here. As an American man, I never considered this “who pays” issue controversial (as she asserts it is). Yet as we also see, some men do think – and that “Mister” guy above flat out says it – that since she considers herself a “financial” and “independent” equal, that she should surely be happy to go halfsies.

I know I last dated in the last decade of the last century so I am a relic a while ago now, but that was still well after, uh, the ladies got the vote. On a date, I always paid. I NEVER even considered you have your own bank account now and credit cards and you have a good job too and anyway gender roles are purely a thousands of years’ old patriarchal oppressive unenlightened social construct asking a woman to split a bill. LOL!

Seriously, I feel “split the bill men” lecturers like “Mister” above are revealing an ugly side of their personality in looking to belittle women for having the nerve to consider themselves a man’s human equal. Forget everything else: the bottom line is YOU – the MAN – asked HER out, so you are seeking HER romantic interest… indeed for HER possibly eventually to take your name, to share her life with you, likely be the mother of your children, and ultimately alter her existence into Eternity. So whether she earns $20,000 a year or $200,000, why should SHE pay a cent for that little dinner? That meal is not about point scoring in a college debate class or being snide on the f-cking internet. YOU are supposedly a grown up male, so act like one.

[Moules-frites. Dining out, Boulogne-sur-Mer, France, October 2019. Photo by me.]

A word of advice to single women from me as a married man. If you experience a man behaving funny over him paying for the FIRST date dinner, you should make sure there is NOT a second date. (I suspect most of you would anyway.) Do not accept excuses from him – including socio-economic-political-gender-equality discourses – as to why you should split the bill. (Also, bear in mind if he can’t afford to buy you a dinner, he certainly can’t afford to marry you.)

Remember, the FIRST date is when he is supposedly trying to do his UTMOST to impress you. Don’t forget that. So if he is being petty and difficult over ANYTHING at that earliest stage, run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.

Again, that is what I think, anyhow.

Have a good day, wherever you are in the world. 🙂

______

UPDATE: May 19: Her opinion has made the mainstream media… and that media is emphasizing those who don’t like it:

And, as you know, I agree with her opinion.

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