“He doesn’t love me as I love him…”

For today’s topic – the obvious one. I’ve found that writing romance is one of the most difficult things to get right as an author. It is too dangerously easy to produce sappy, or unrealistic, or simply unbelievable relationships.

It is also easy to poke fun at romance writing. However, if you try to write even a few romantic paragraphs yourself you will quickly develop a respect for those who craft romantic tales. Since 2013, I have.

Unless you are producing some “time-free” story (meaning no relationship evolution is really involved), a credible romance in fiction must be as ever-changing, and expectations within a couple always evolving, as in real life. After all, we know in our real lives that at any given time we and our partner are not necessarily in the same “place” relationship-wise. In fact, most of the time we probably aren’t.

And that almost certainly applies to every other couple out there. That we are not does not mean we are not in love. Rather it is just to nod to the reality that it is exceedingly rare – indeed, it is likely impossible – for any romantic relationship ever simultaneously to develop for both parties exactly as hoped for and/or at the same pace.

Excerpt from "Passports." Click to expand.
Excerpt from “Passports.” Click to expand.

How often have you thought, “She doesn’t love me as much as I love her…” or “He doesn’t love me as I love him…” You are not alone. Such is as old as history itself.

It creates a perpetual challenge – and writing “fun” – when seeking to reflect that reality in fiction. Some of us want to read about at least some happy couples. Others of us also “enjoy” heartache and even tragedy.

Garden rose, August 2016. [Photo by me.]
Garden rose, August 2016. [Photo by me.]

Maybe we read subconsciously as well hoping to glean insights and advice for our own actual lives. Only we know what draws us to any given book(s). I hope that any readers searching for “something,” or even stumbling on “something” by accident, in my pages find within them something that betters their own life.

On that note, I’m back now to editing more of the later 1700s…

Yes, Happy Valentine’s Day, wherever you are in the world. 🙂

Posted by

Author: “Conventions: The Garden At Paris,” “Passports,” “Frontiers,” and “Distances.” British Airways frequent flier. Lover of the Catskill Mountains...and the 1700s. New novel of 1797-1805, "Tomorrow The Grace," due out in 2019.

3 thoughts on ““He doesn’t love me as I love him…”

  1. Interesting post. I think that’s one of the reasons I started to write romance – because too often it wasn’t done properly. That’s not to say that I do it properly either! But I write romance the way I expect it to be written. But yes, too often people think it’s an easy genre to write, when you and I know it isn’t!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think when done well it should be movingly human and therefore resonate with both women AND men. What you write is wonderfully real. That’s the truly satisfying read. It’s the cartoonish and ludicrous that gives the genre its bad reputation.

      Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.