I was away for a few days. I’d driven down to stay with my (increasingly frail) in-laws in London while my wife is in Portugal. My main task was to help with dog walking:
My pal on his favorite step. Dogs care not how rich we are, what we do for a living, or how handsome we are. Nothing like that matters to them. They just adore us and spend their lives waiting for us to tell them what to do. And it's tough to feel down around your dog. 🐕😊#dogs #pets #photography #photo #springador #walk #walkie #Enfield #London #England #writers #authors #writing #amwriting
Naturally, I transported my vital technology to set myself up to write there when I could.
But any writer’s big problem is being distracted. And there are so many distractions out there. For example, Instagram gives us the all too easy opportunity to avoid work and share a laugh with friends:
Good morning! In hono(u)r of the meeting between the current leaders of the UK and USA, this (not great) photo I'd taken of a large print we'd bought years ago, had framed, and have hung in various lounges.📸It's Montague Dawson's fantastic painting of HMS Java 🇬🇧and USS Constitution 🇺🇸blasting away at each other during the War of 1812.😜🤦🏻♂️📚My (English) wife and I sometimes have a weird sense of humo(u)r.😂😂😂#HappyWeekend #romance #marriage #painting #history #art #Warof1812 #politics #England #USA #sail #ships #photo #photography #writers #writing #authors #expats #humor #humour #inspiration #laughs
Yet war is not a laughing matter, of course. Conflict sees individual lives turned upside down – and worse. And within those lives are uncountable wrecked friendships and lost loves.
I believe friendships and loves are more necessary to us than even family. After all, when it comes to family we are thrown together by accident of blood and birth. Even if we can’t stomach the sight of each other, we are “forced” to be together.
However, our friends and lovers are so because we are of like minds in so many ways. As a result, we want to walk side by side on this earth while we are here. No one is compelling us to do so.
Our spouse is, at least early on, in the “friends and loves” category. Yes, we become “related” after marrying. But marriage is unique in comparison to other family relationships because we marry by choice and remain married by choice.
Why we become friends or fall in love with whom we do is not a result of rational thought. It is essentially unexplainable. Friendships and love might well also have nothing to do with country allegiances:
Think about it. It is an interesting question. Would you have the courage to abandon your allegiance to your country to be with a husband or a wife who was from another country?
If it became an either/or proposition directed at me, I would choose my wife before my country without hesitation.
Have a good Sunday, wherever you are in the world.😊
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Oh, and speaking of my birth country and it being a Sunday. Give a thought to following Sunday Shay. She’s from New Jersey.