Chasing “Love”: From England To Odessa To Moscow

You may remember “Melvin.” He is the ex-husband of a friend of ours. Back in August, he moved to Bulgaria.

For some years before, he had been involved with a woman from Odessa, Ukraine whom he’d, well….met on the internet. We don’t know really what went on there, but he’d been to visit her numerous times. A year or two ago matters were apparently taken up a notch: a house was bought there (uh, he’d bought it for her in HER name only: I kid you not), lots of money was also sent her way, and he was planning on moving there to be nearer her….

Free Stock Photo: Windows start button on a computer screen.
Free Stock Photo: Windows start button on a computer screen.

….and then, she, well, “vanished.”

Yeh, we were thinking probably pretty much the same thing you are about now. On another level, though, we felt sorry for him. How could he be that naive? What was he thinking?

Last year, just before his Bulgaria relocation, I wrote on here:

I have to believe at some point a woman will be involved. Unlike Ukraine, he hasn’t mentioned one yet. I can’t see him living out his life mostly alone talking to plants and a dog.

From Bulgaria, he remains in touch with his ex-wife here in England. Bless her, she still worries about him. Although I also do wonder if she is by now weary of hearing of his “romantic adventures” and wishes he would just get lost.

Because he has been at it again on the net. This time, he went to Moscow. Now he is in some sort of a relationship with a Russian woman, who has two kids.

“Moscow?” I questioned my wife after she updated me on this latest. “There are no Bulgarian women around in….Bulgaria? What’s wrong with him?”

Worst of all: he is giving this one money now, too.

Incredulous as she told me, my wife shook her head.

“Gullible men are still allowing themselves to get conned,” I groaned. “It’s not 1990. It’s not the impoverished former Soviet Union anymore.”

Maybe this one is legit. Maybe. But one would have to believe the odds are against that.

This feels like nonsense you read about in the Daily Mail. When you encounter tales like this about others you don’t know personally, you may ask yourself, “How could he not see what was going on? And didn’t anyone talk to him?”

I did once have a brief chat with him (before the Ukraine fiasco was revealed) inferring politely (because it’s none of my business, of course, what he does with whom) that pursuing such women isn’t a terrific idea. But I also discovered he was being less than candid with me about what was going on. It seems everyone gets only bits of information and no one is ever granted the whole story.

We’ve been told he will not even listen to his best English man friend. Apparently, despite being once burned badly, he has learned nothing. If eventually he ends up bankrupt in Bulgaria, it’s entirely his own fault.

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Author: “Conventions: The Garden At Paris,” “Passports,” “Frontiers,” and “Distances.” British Airways frequent flier. Lover of the Catskill Mountains...and the 1700s. New novel of 1797-1805, "Tomorrow The Grace," due out in 2019.

3 thoughts on “Chasing “Love”: From England To Odessa To Moscow

  1. “He has learned nothing”. Sadly, a part of the human condition. BTW, Bulgarians (from my visits there) are nicer, though they have not quite the same “European” look your friend might have been looking for in Ukraine or Russia 🙂

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  2. There are, as your friend might not be aware, a fair number of women in Bulgaria – likely in more or less the same proportion to the total population as exists in other countries. Perhaps a relationship forcing one to be in the same location is the gist of the problem. Hopefully he will end up neither bankrupt nor disappointed in Bulgaria.

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