Letter To 230 Years Ago

Outside of Bristol England 22nd January 2016


I write to you in the 18th century thinking I might dispatch this to you in Nantes post restrante, but we don’t do that commonly in our time & consigning it to the English mail is not what I wished to do either not because it will be opened and read by some scoundrel as in your time but because now the price of a letter has become so great as to cause one to need to secure a bank loan first & you are long dead anyway. I have decided it is best placed on our inter-net which is easily found & we accept our governments to-day read every thing we write on there. Centuries passing have not changed everything.

Lately I had the extreme pleasure of reading so many of the correspondence. You seem not to know what a paragraph is but that is fine as one becomes used to seeing that. Your punctuation and spelling leave much to be desired too. It is receive not recieve. I also accept that is how you do things. I say also how huge a sacrifice it will be to her on account of her family that I suggest sir that if you wish to be well settled, if you think your happiness would be perfect with her, I must say I’m unsure. The lady writes delicately that she reads your letters on waking and follows spending much of the evening answering them and that your remembrance makes her happy. I caution you that when she writes to you that she is amazed at the skill that you write in French as an American, I would be most careful. She writes also of overtures of her heart and when I see that I think to say to you not to go to Paris and to find a ship rather to carry you to the other end of the earth. I see nothing but trouble and I beg you not to lose your understanding or put a pistol to your head. Those words said I must publish & we do not write English this way in our 21st century & if I don’t cease for a time I may find my ability to converse properly now with my countrymen is greatly diminished. Some Americans one encounters here in Eng’d seem mad but I do find most of them decent. They’re seen everywhere in Bath and the merchants are happy to take their money but I think laugh at them too. New Yorkers always seem the loudest.

Sir, I am as always your most obedient & esteemed & humble servant, etc, etc.


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Back to conversing in our present day. No, I haven’t “lost” it. Researching the next book, I’ve spent too many days immersed in language like that.

Free Stock Photo: Illustration of a history textbook.
Free Stock Photo: Illustration of a history textbook.

Spend enough time reading the likes of that and you may feel a strong desire to write in the same style. 😉

Have a good weekend!